Girl Talk: Putting Yourself First

I feel that sometimes women and girls in this society today have to justify a lot of things they do. One of these things is putting themselves first. I think a lot of us tend to think we are selfish when we put ourselves before others. Though putting yourself first can become selfishness if you have a complete lack of consideration towards others, putting yourself first is not frowned upon.

Sometimes, we are so busy trying to satisfy and care everyone else. Our parents, teachers, employers, peers, or family. We often miss the memo that we need to be taken care of as well.

When you are asked what your top priorities are, what is on your list? Is yourself somewhere on the list? I remember doing those ‘get-to-know” you things on the first day of school and being asked, “What are the top 5 most important things in your life right now?” I would never even think to answer one of those as ‘Myself.’

Why though? Why do we find that so…weird?

If someone wrote themselves as a top priority of theirs, I’m sure lots of individuals would question them. They must be really self-centered, egotistical, and selfish.

THIS IS NOT A VALID ASSUMPTION. 

Putting yourself first is not wrong. It’s not selfish, and it can lead you to provide yourself with a more fulfilling life. You can invest time in yourself just as much as you invest yourself in others.

There is a mentality women have that is often subconscious. It tells them that they are here to serve and care for others. This mentality lays the foundation for what they feel they deserve, and how much they allow themselves to be who they are, as opposed to who they feel they need to be for others.

So, what are the benefits of putting yourself first?

1. If you respect yourself, others will too. People are less likely to disrespect someone that they know won’t take it. They are looking for an easy target.
2.  A lot of you probably know that when you are on an airplane, you are supposed to put on your oxygen mask before you put on someone else’s. You are only able to help out others when your needs are met first. When you’re emotionally exhausted, there’s no way you can sit and listen to a friend’s existential crisis as well.
3. You don’t attach expectation. Once you require something to be a certain way for you to be satisfied, is the second you will not be in control of your life. You are now depending on someone else or something else to keep you happy. You can only control how you act and react. Make sure you put yourself at the center of control in your life.
4. You will start to care about your opinion rather than other people’s. Sometimes it’s more important to care about how you feel rather than how you look, and who you truly are rather than who you are “supposed” to be. Don’t try to fit an image because you think that’s how you should be. People tend to do this especially when they are trying to meet other people’s expectations. Think about what you want and what you want to portray about yourself when you walk into a room.
5. Healthy habits will become a lifestyle. If you take some time to relax and do the things you want/need to do such as cook a good meal, meditate, go for a walk, or take a mental health day. Soon, these habits will become a part of your routine like brushing your teeth.
6. You’ll figure out who and what is worth your time and attention. As much as we’d like to, we can’t please everyone, and guess what? That’s not our job. We aren’t supposed to please everyone. It’s your job to figure out what you want in your life and who you want in your life.
7. You will attract the right things into your life. You attract the right people, relationships, and things because you know what suits you.
8. Going off of #7, you will respect yourself to leave unhealthy jobs, relationships, and friendships if you find out that they are not right for you anymore. Don’t compromise your own mental and emotional health because for the sake of someone else.
9. You will be kinder to others. When you are kind to yourself you can extend that kindness easily. You won’t ever feel like you have to make them lesser because you need to make yourself bigger.
10. You don’t need other people’s approval. You won’t waste your time seeking it.
11. You will accomplish more. You won’t be distracted or tired by things that are bringing you down. You will be more focused on what matters.
12. You can change the world. “Changing the world starts with changing yourself.” Lots of us are willing to change society, but who’s willing to change themselves? A lot of people may not realize that most acts of charity are actions of the ego. If everyone in the world tried to change themselves before trying to change other people, the whole world would transform.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic! Leave them below in the comments section or drop me an email at myblissfullifeblog@gmail.com

Thanks for reading 🙂

-Hannah