The importance of having someone on your side

So I don’t want this to be a downer post, that’s not what I’m about, but I’d like it to be more of a getting-my-thoughts-out-there post. I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about something that’s been bothering me. I didn’t address it at first because it seemed silly, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not at all.

So my boyfriend of 2 years, Tyler, is a sweetheart, but he has a tendency to play devil’s advocate all the time. I never actually know what he agrees with sometimes because he’s so good at it. We do it to each other in a way, just to help open each other’s minds and get the other thinking. Which isn’t bad, but I guess sometimes I wish that he would just agree with me no questions asked. I’m being a bit dramatic though, because he agrees with me a lot, but it’s just every once in a while when I vent to him about something someone said or did that bothered me, he’ll start defending them instead of me.

For example, I have a friend from college (in Ohio) that lives in California. So she’s pretty dang far away from me. She decided she’s going to transfer spring semester back to California because she realized she didn’t know what she wanted to do and she was just wasting time and money going to a school so far away. So basically, I probably won’t ever see her again unless we really do keep in touch and I head out to Cali sometime or vice versa.

My birthday was during finals week (I know…it sucks). My best friend planned a surprise party for me. My Cali friend was going to host it in her room. She backed out last minute, so my friend had to figure out something else. Then, she decided after backing out of letting everyone stay in her room that she didn’t want to come at all and she would rather go out partying by herself. Like I would get it if it was studying or work…but parties?? Instead of your friend’s birthday?? There’s so many more parties in the world, but like you might not see me EVER again?? I had to hear all of this from my best friend which was slightly irritating. At least she wished me a happy birthday.

One more incidence, on the last day before winter break we were watching Hairspray Live and in the middle of it, (not even a commercial I might add…) she gets up, says, “I’m going back to my dorm, bye!” So that was the last interaction we might ever have.

It was all just a bit upsetting, so I was ranting to Tyler about it when I got back home. He instantly started saying that maybe she was scared of a real goodbye or maybe she just didn’t think it was a big deal. Which I get, but I really just wanted him (or someone) to say: “Yeah, that is really shitty of her. I’m sorry.”

It’s just nice to have someone on your side.

Don’t get me wrong, Tyler is always (most of the time) on my side, he just likes to express something from the other side. SOMETIMES this actually does help me feel better. It just depends. Which is hard to explain to him because I don’t even know what I want half the time so how am I supposed to help him? Ugh. I’m so confusing.

I’ve definitely told him all these feelings before, but I might reiterate them. I’ve just been thinking about it far more than I should so something’s going on in my brain. I think maybe just having a serious talk and just letting him know how much it has been bothering me should help. I hope so at least.

If you guys have any similar experiences, let me know!

-Hannah

 

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7 thoughts on “The importance of having someone on your side

  1. Hannah,
    Don’t worry. This happens to me all the time with my husband. I’ll try ranting to him about something a friend did or something at work and he will the take the opposite side instead of agreeing with me. It can be very frustrating but you just have to think of it as not a big deal and think that he wasn’t trying to do it on purpose. πŸ™‚

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  2. Yeah I get you. It can be annoying when you’re frustrated at something, and then someone else offers their perspective. Like, fair enough, but I just need to rant to at least pretend you’re on my sideπŸ˜‚and for the record, I think it was wrong of her to not spend your birthday with you!x

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  3. I totally understand what you mean! Like, fine if you disagree, or want to put across your opinion or point of view, but there’s a way to do it, you know? My best friend is like that, and to be honest it’s tiring. Being at odds with people you love, even just feeling a bit let down by them, is draining and it sucks :/ you’re not alone with being confused and confusing though! πŸ˜›

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