My January 2017 was overall a good experience. Getting back into the college grind after winter break is always an adjustment, but it’s been getting better.
My classes are challenging, but nothing extreme that I can’t handle. I’m working more, because I’m trying to save up money. Not really for anything in particular, just to save I guess.
My friends have been great, my roommate has been a bit challenging. We get along fine, she just constantly compares herself to me. It’s hard getting back from my day and just being bombarded with comments from her like “Wow, you are always out studying and getting good grades, I study for like 5 seconds and fail everything.” “You are always back late on weekends, I don’t leave the room.” “All I do is sit here.” A lot of very self-deprecating things. I literally try to stay out of the room as much as possible just because she constantly bombards me with comments like this whenever I walk into the room.
I’ve tried to get her out of the room and invite her to dinner with my friends, but she always has an excuse that it’s too cold, or too far away. She’ll come occasionally, maybe once a month. I kinda stopped trying as much after she started saying no every day.
It’s draining for me because I give her all the advice I possibly have. Talk to people, ask people to study (to which she responds, she doesn’t study), leave the room occasionally for some fresh air, get involved on campus and join some organizations.
I’ve been telling her these things every day, but she doesn’t change. She seems content with herself staying in the room most of the time, she tells me she can’t wait for an apartment next year so she can stay in her room all the time.
It’s just hard when she compares herself to me constantly because it makes me feel bad. I shouldn’t feel bad though, it’s not like I haven’t tried to help. There’s not much I can do because I’ve told her again and again what I do to make my college experience the best it can be. I understand that she’s probably self conscious and its difficult for her to get out of her comfort zone. The problem is, I can’t relate completely to that, so I’m not really sure what to tell her. I had some issues last year with making friends, but I finally decided to put myself out there and it worked! I try telling her how I overcame that, but I think her anxiety is more set in than mine was/is. I’m also what I’d consider an outgoing introvert, and she’s definitely a lot more introverted.
I really didn’t mean for this post to make a turn into me complaining about my roommate…
But honestly, if any of you guys have any advice for me please let me know! My friends all tell me that I’m not a terrible person!! I just really feel like I’m useless in trying to help. I wish I had some better advice suited for her.