How can something so right, turn so wrong?

I don’t particularly care for thinking about the past. Usually, it results in me wishing things didn’t turn out the way they did, or wishing that I had done something different.

Technology may be incredible, but it isn’t to time traveling status yet. Even if it was, I wouldn’t ACTUALLY want to change anything. I’m at a great place right now, and without everything I’ve experienced, I wouldn’t be in the same position.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my current relationship. It’s hard not to think about my past relationship sometimes and how it compares. I know there were good parts to my nearly 3 year relationship. There had to be, right? I’ve just done so much dwelling on what went wrong that it’s hard to get those good memories back to the surface.

I know that everything started out great and that things were good for a while.

I think people can get too comfortable in relationships. You start to forget what it’s like to not have the other person around. Even though it was long distance for 2 years, I couldn’t imagine him just not being there for me. When things were starting to get difficult, which turned into things going wrong, I kept making excuses in order to keep the relationship going. I made excuses for almost a year.

That’s how it went wrong I think. I was so tired of making excuses. I was so tired defending something that was so crumpled up. I was just so tired.

It can be hard to look back on that because now, I know that I can be more aware of what’s going on. I can look out for myself instead of forcing something to happen when it shouldn’t.

If you ever feel like something isn’t going to work with someone, make sure you figure it out early. Don’t wait! It just makes it more torture. I always remind myself: Go with your gut. I don’t want any mistakes to be repeated this go around!

-Hannah

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